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The Bargain Nexus - Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
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List Price: $16.00
Our Price: $7.45
Your Save: $ 8.55 ( 53% )
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
Manufacturer: Holt Paperbacks
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Average Customer Rating:  
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Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 616.89156
EAN: 9780805058260
ISBN: 0805058265
Label: Holt Paperbacks
Manufacturer: Holt Paperbacks
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 432
Publication Date: 1998-05-15
Publisher: Holt Paperbacks
Studio: Holt Paperbacks
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Spotlight customer reviews:
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Customer Rating:
Summary: Different, But Effective
Comment: While many therapists and books focus on how you can accommodate and compromise with your partner, this book takes a completely different approach to working with couples who are having difficulties within their relationships. What I see happen over the course of time, couples who focus on making each other happy, end up resentful that their partner isn't contributing to the same degree, which results in withholding of love rather than continuous giving.
David Schnarch looks at relationships from another perspective...instead of looking for validation from your partner, learn to look within. Through this process, couples can begin to give from the best place within themselves, rather than out of feeling obligated, or doing things just to "keep the peace," or "because my partner wants me to." These type of actions end up causing disconnect within the relationship, reducing intimacy & the quality of the relationship overall.
David's approach is poignant and allows couples to be "real" with themselves as well as with each other, resulting in a deeper, more connected, more intimate relationship. I definitely recommend this book to any couple who is struggling to find intimacy in their relationship.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Amazing Break throughs
Comment: I bought this book and another marital self-help book at the same time. I'm happy I read this book second because the first book caused more damage then good, better to have the trouble out of the way first.
While reading this book, I saw a lot of my own marriage in the characters. It was odd yet left me feeling hopeful to see that other marriages are going through almost the exact problems my marriage is going through. I could relate to a lot of what was said in this book. I was so happy to see the word I've been looking for to tell my husband how I've been feeling and that is a loss of connection at times when I really need to have him present with me in the moment. At the same time I loved the authors ideas on self-differentiation. It's exactly what I needed and explained what I've been going through the past 8 years of our 10 year marriage.
The authors style of writing is very educated and I did have to pick up a dictionary a couple times to understand what he was saying but it was so worth it. I loved how he kept you hanging while reading this book by hooking you in with phrases like "I'll talk more about that at the end of the chapter" which of course meant I wasn't putting the book down until I got to the end of the chapter.
You do have to be an adult in a maturity sort of way to read this book. There are some explicit erotic pages that helped you connect and relate to the characters he was portraying.
My husband is now reading this book, and I plan on reading it again and also looking for more works by this author.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Gutwrenching, lifechanging, gutwrenching
Comment: I went over the hell of pain reading this book. I made skyscraper of realizations, and so far made only couple of floors of improvements. I am still in 'five steps forward, four steps back' motion while working on myself. But this lifechanging book... I would recommend it to anyone - married or single, it does not matter. It also does not matter where your lack of integrity pops up - be it work, social life, friendship or marriage. It will pop up everywhere and is rooted in the same causes pointed out in book.
Instead of being purely behavioral guide, like most books are, this book, with reader's will, can help mobilize what is best in them, not just follow checkbox guide. English is my 3rd language, and book is much more difficult to read than say, 'Seven Principles' by Gotham, which was a breeze compared to 'Passionate Marriage'.
I am so grateful and proud for being able to feel and taste pure, distilled love for my wife and for other people in my life. This is unbelievable state I wish more people to know of. Our sex and lives are changing at fast pace every day in every aspect, and only I read the book (but I share my findings about myself with her if I want to (yeah, acting differentiated :) ) ). Your spouse doesn't have to read it. As Dr. Schnarch says 'it takes two to screw marriage, and one to fix it'.
Customer Rating: 
Summary: Keeping love
Comment: It's about resolving the issues in a relationship in a way that results in great sex, rather than the other way around.I love about this book is that it isn't just about having great sex/chemistry/passion in general but about having those things with your partner.
The perfect match with this book is I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't
Customer Rating:
Summary: Great
Comment: I have learned that it's fine to think about myself first, even during sex. This book freed us from the specter of uneven sexual desire, and battles about oral sex. I also recommend an amazing book in this topic I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't
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Editorial Reviews:
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The greatest sexual pleasure in a person's lifetime is possible in one's middle and later years, asserts Dr. David Schnarch, when a mature sense of self has been achieved and genuine intimacy is possible with another person. At his Family Health Center in Colorado Dr. Schnarch works with couples in long-term committed relationships who want to get emotionally and sexually closer. In Passionate Marriage Dr. Schnarch shares what he has learned about how couples can--and must--simultaneously break through the sexual and the emotional blocks that hold them back from total satisfaction. He counsels that every sexual exchange, from kissing to daring erotic behaviors, is a picture of an entire relationship--a reflection of how you and your partner feel about yourselves and each other outside the bedroom. This respectful, erotic, uplifting, and spiritual guide to sexual and emotional fulfillment makes a passionate marriage within the reach of every couple.
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